You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
