First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
