Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
