I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
