I wish I could punch you in the face.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm bleeding and have questions
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize