so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
