seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
