in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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