i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
