Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
