I wanna passion pit in your ass
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Randomize
