in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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