he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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