even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize