Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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