she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Randomize