I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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