We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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