I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
