Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
