Apparently you make a good broom.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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