i permit you to call me
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
