Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
