it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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