They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize