I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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