Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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