I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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