Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
