Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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