Yo dont text me then not text me
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
