He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
