Just look for the house with the beer knights.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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