Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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