Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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