Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
