after a month anything with tits is on the radar
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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