yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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