If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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