I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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