he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
is it fun? or sober?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize