I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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