I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
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i would one night stand the shit outta him
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
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he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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