okay pat passed out under dana's car
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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