come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
