I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
