Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
