You made me cry and you don't even care
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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