so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize