Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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