i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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