I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
