Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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