Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
