No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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