dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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