i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
