I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
