just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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