so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
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there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
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It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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