He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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