And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
