Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
