that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
