Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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