Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
